Wonder Sluts

This is a picture of Kevin Arnold. I’ve been watching a lot of Wonder Years lately and I’ve got a bone to pick with cute little Kevin Arnold. Now, I have been watching this show since I was a kid and I’d like to think that I’ve had a lot of time to sufficiently form an opinion of the show and the characters. What I mean is that I remember what I thought of them when I was a kid and I know what I think of them now. As a kid something about Winnie Cooper, Kevin’s love interest, always made me wonder. There was something that was just a little off about the way the show wanted me to perceive Winnie and the way I actually thought about her. But being a kid I just took what they gave me and never really asked any questions. Now, however I know exactly what that suspicion was. Winnie was ugly. Now this may come as a shock to many devout Wonder Years fans and/or proponents of her cuteness but I must insist that she really ain’t all that nor will she ever equate to even one chip--let alone an entire bag.

Here is where I would like to draw the distinction: Winnie is cute in her own best chick friend/girl next door kind of way but, the other girls that Kevin encounters in junior high are leagues hotter. Case(s) in point: Madeline Adams the chick from his French class, and Becky Slater who although a little nutty is still way hot. (I do realize that I am saying fourteen year olds are hot but please people they’re actors…they gotta be at least one or two years older than they’re playing--I am convinced Madeline is at least 19.) The thing that ticks me off about all this is that Kevin could have stuck it to either of these hotties and I’m sure many more too but he spent too much time pining over the uber-frumpo Winnie Cooper. I mean really, how could he stand those bangs. OK, maybe I am being a little too hard on Winnie. In fact I probably am she's not as ugly as I am saying but she definatley does suck a whole lot in many ways. For example, she totally jerks Kevin around way too much. And whats up with her seeing someone else when she starts going to Lincoln Junior High WHILE she was still dating Kevin! Kevin was able to suppress his lust-full urges when Madeline was trying to get in his pants--he didn't just fold his cards and put it in her back door like most middle school kids would have done. Probably what bothers me most about the Winnie situation is that Kevin wasted a lot of time on her that he cherished and she is just able to throw him out and move on to some douche knuckle at Lincoln. Kevin Arnold: snap out of it--you deserve better than that bang-faced ho-bag.


This is Madeline Adams the chick Kevin should have been poking. Notice the hotness, she is also very nice to Kevin and lacks hideous bangs.

Becky Slater: while kind of crazy she always had a thing for Kevin and also--hotter than Winnie. (and yes it is a frumpy picture, but trust me she's a looker)


This is Winnie Cooper. Very cute yes, but mean to Kevin. Notice the ugly bangs as well.