X-Men Origins: Wolverine

What the fuckity fuck happened to this movie? Did Brett Ratner secretly take over the mind of Gavin Hood and force him to use slow motion in EVERY action scene? Did he force him to use cartoon animation instead of CGI on Wolverine's claws? No, I know what it is...he made him make Professor X into a cartoon again--instead of just putting on a little make up to make him look younger.

If you havn't guessed yet I didn't really like this movie all that much. The weird thing is that as I left I realized that it really was everything that I expected, but for some reason nothing in the movie was all that compelling. I just didn't really care that Wolvie's lady got killed or that Pippin went lights out. I think the only thing that was hard to watch was when the old couple bought the farm when Agent Zero shot them. And who is this Agent Zero anyway? What, he can shoot really well and jump high? Big fucking deal. I happen to know that John Mclane can also do these things and he doesn't even have a gene mutation.

I did like some things about the movie though. Let me tell you about that stuff before I go on to list more things that I hated about this movie. Liev Schreiber--great actor, easily the best in the film. I think the directors decision to use him a lot was probably the best thing he did. This brings me to the most anticipated thing about this film (at least for me) --Gambit. When I sat through the other three X-Men films with no mention of Gambit I thought there was some sort of mistake. Someone as important to the X-Men comic should NEVER have been left out of any X-Men film. And now the final payoff is Taylor Kitsch doing a pretty good job as the ace throwing hero, but in the end I'm just bitter we didn't get more of him in the first three films.

The first three films. This brings me to my biggest issue with this film. X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Think about that. Why for the love of god would need an origin film for Wolverine--the character who was the main focus of ALL the last three X-Men films. Now I know how cool Wolvie is and I am not saying I don't enjoy seeing him slice shit up and smoke cigars and Huge Ackman is the shit. But couldn't we have gotten maybe a Cyclops film first? Just as a buffer between the three other wolverine films? Or how about an actual X-Men origins film first? Start with Professor X then move onto Magneto. All of them are dense enough as characters to have their own film. I mean look at Wolverine he has FOUR.

I dunno what else to say about this movie...Oh yes I do:

Dear Hugh,

I love you. I think you are a great actor and I love how you play Wolverine. But seriously do you really need to scream at the sky EVERY TIME you get angry? There must be better ways to show us you're pissed. I personally like it when you stab shit. Like in X:2 when you killed EVERYONE. Maybe in future films if you are sad you can scream at the ground? Or like in the last film you when you were in the woods why scream at the sky? you should have started clawing at the ground and ripping your clothes off like an ANIMAL. Don't just scream at the clouds. Unless there is rain. If there is rain you are free to scream at the sky all you want. It looks much cooler than screaming at a partly cloudy sunny day. That is all.

Sincerely,
B.Savage

p.s. THIS looks like it could be awesome: Deadpool
Don't let me down Ryan...