Suckplex

So I watched this movie, Duplex. Featuring the likes of Ben Stiller, Drew Barrymore, and a narration by the beloved Danny DeVito. Now if this was all I had to go on I might just say shoot Drew Barrymore and we might have a pretty good movie but unfortunatley that is not the case. This film is terrible from start to finish. Here is the main idea of it: newleyweds Stiller and Barrymore wanna raise kids so they need a bigger place, they buy the duplex but there is a tenant living upstairs who is an old lady. She is real old and seems about to die so they buy the place and the laughter ensues as the place begins to fall apart as a result of the meddling crazy old woman. Ever seen the Money Pit? The lovable Tom Hanks classic with the (much hotter than Barrymore) lovely Shelly Long? There is no old lady in The Money Pit but you can tell the creators of Duplex saw the movie and decided that they would be creative and copy the basic premise. Danny DeVito directed Duplex and that makes me sad becuase he is usually the man at making dark comedies which is what this film is aiming at. However it falls about 10 miles short of the greatness seen in his other films such as Throw Momma From the Train, Death to Smoochy and Matilda.
One of my main issues with this shitstorm of a film is Ben Stiller, who yet again is playing an almost identical role to every other film he has made. Now don't get me wrong I love Ben, but surrounded by this movie where everything is predictably about to go wrong he is just annoying and stupid. Also, there is an old lady in this movie. The source of all their troubles. Now without revealing too much of the plot (warning I'm about to reveal too much of the plot) which I have no problem doing because this movie is shit anyway I will tell you that this old hag is pissing them off on purpose just to get money from the realtor played by Uncle Frank of Mrs. Doubtfire fame, who is also in cahoots with the police (OK I'm done ruining the ending). Now don't cry, it's not like I'm ruining a good movie, its Duplex if you didn't see this ending coming then you probably have one of two problems. One: you're one of the retards that decided to make this movie. Or two: someone just shot you in the face and shoved cotton balls in your ears and taped your eyes shut.
So anyway back to the old lady. I think Danny DeVito has a thing for old women. Call it a fetish, call it a sexual obsession, call it a semi-decent comic device; whatever it is, it's only funny one time and then never again. After Throw Momma From the Train old women can no longer play that role with the same gusto and pizzaz as that first old lady (I would IMDB her name but that would be cheating my friends). My point being that the one element in this movie in which all the source of conflict and comedy is supposed to originate from is just a copy of an older much better character in a much better film--made by the same director Danny THE Vito. He totally should have vetoed this movie (my apologies). Although I'm sure it was all well and good with the writers because it's not like they needed to think of something original in order to convince Stiller and Barrycunt to make the movie anyway. I'm not sore about it though. As always I enjoyed watching the movie because lets be honest Barrymore is hot and fun to look at and Stiller made me laugh one time. However, if not for Comcast Digital Cable's onDemand feature and I had actually paid for this cockgobbling shit-flick I would have had to get angry and write The Vito a letter.